Archive for Heart to Heart

30 Years to Life

October 13, 2013 · Filed under Heart to Heart · Tagged ,

30 years ago today, I stepped inside a chapel to pray and as I sat in silence there, my truth became my solemn prayer…

“Lord I come to you on bended knee, praying that you will set him free. He’s no longer who he used to be and it’s becoming impossible to see a reality where he returns to me. If there’s no miracle in store I cried, then please no more, just let him die.”

Within an hour, God’s grace replied. My prayer was answered and he died.

And in that moment, the world changed. In, up, out, down, rearranged. Banged around, tossed about, gasping for air. Turmoil, shifting soil, life isn’t fair. Spun around, upside down, trying to get my grounding. Day in, day out, life spent rebounding.

Holding on for dear life, my days filled with strife, my faith in the One above. Not wanting it so, I had to let go of the first man that I ever loved.

That night the heavens poured, there would be no more, he was with the Lord. And as it rained the radio played, “there’s a little black spot on the sun today”.

But here’s the thing about suffering and why it’s so demanding. Once done, the battle won, lays the peace that passes all understanding.

And what I know with certainty is that his blood flows through me and all that he instilled in me, I am my father’s legacy.

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I hope I do him justice.

In loving memory of my father – the greatest father a daughter could ever have hoped for.

 

 See you next time!    Pink Heart       OXOXOXO

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Operation Purple Heart: Win Opportunity Knocks…Will You Be There?

April 24, 2013 · Filed under Heart to Heart · Tagged , , , ,

Rita ProfileWhen I first began working in center city, it was inevitable that I would encounter homeless people in the subways, laying on sidewalk steam grates, and other cement make-shift “residences” throughout the city. I never had a problem handing them what change I had in my pocket at the time as long as I could keep moving, shouting a quick “Thank you, you too” as I responded to their “God Bless You” or “Have a nice day”. It was important to keep moving. Time was of the Hands of Homeless Man with Change in Cupessence. I had places to go and people to see. It was also important, however, that in my hurry, I at least in some small way acknowledged that I saw the homeless person even if it was to say that I don’t have any change today knowing full well if I took a minute to scavenge  the bottom of my purse, I could easily be deemed mistaken.

My mind harkens back to something I once heard someone say which seemed to make a lot of sense and that I never forgot- one of the purest, most genuine, and authentic acts of giving is when you feel you don’t have it to give and you give it anyway. Think about it. Makes sense, right? Giving is a gift that when you give to others you gift yourself as well. Having fully genuinely bought into this mindset, I no longer exclaim that I don’t have any change when being asked for money by those who appear to be in need. It’s simply not true and I hope it never will be.

According to the World Giving Index, which is a study of world-wide charitable behavior, America was the 5th most charitable giving country in the world in 2011. Australia was the 1st followed by Iceland, Canada, New Zealand and then US. Not too shabby. This means that more than 50% of a nation’s population participated in 1 of 3 acts of giving in any given month including donating money, volunteering time, and helping a stranger.OPSvign5sweb

Many of you probably remember being a kid like it was yesterday, so it isn’t a leap to consider how it might feel to be a child of a military family. Like most things, it has its pros and cons. And it is unlike what the majority of Americans would perceive as ordinary day-to-day living.

Remember your first day of school or any event in your life when you were the only one who didn’t know anybody, surrounded by strangers, and in an unfamiliar environment? One doesn’t even have to reflect back to childhood to recall that feeling.     

The military child frequently has that experience and it doesn’t necessarily mean Littler Girl with Flagattending a new school here in the States. It could be a new school in another country. Saying goodbye to friends you may never see again and meeting kids who have yet to become friends is par for the course.

Remember taking your child to school for the first time and experiencing not only their separation anxiety but your own? Being fully present as your child managed to morph into the ole ball and chain around your ankle as you tried to make your way to the door despite the ankle weight causing you to drag your foot across the floor?

How about holidays like Thanksgiving when families come together or birthdays, graduations, proms, first dates, heartbreaks, doing whatever it takes – to celebrate… knowing that your dad or mom or sibling will not and cannot be there to share the occasion with you? At least not in person. Some of those occasions just happen to be once in a lifetime events. Military children endure that experience as part of the sacrifices they routinely make for US.

The National Military Family Association helps to raise awareness and funds that are designated for programs and support specifically for the military child – OUR unsung heroes. Currently, individual donations for Operation Purple Heart for the Month of the Military Child are considerably lagging behind last year’s support.Diverse Girls

So, you know where I’m going with this. Can you hear opportunity knocking? I can!  I know, oh no, here she goes! Bear with me. It’s my last blog post of the month. I want to be sure that you understand just how important you are to this mission. As a former military child, I’m asking you to please join me in supporting the children who honor our country and support us all as a way of life. Your support really is a Win-Win for everyone!

MC900431631[1]5 Minutes, $5 and PASS IT ON! That’s it. That’s all. Oh, and this…

Click on the Link – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcYQMx_Izbg

 

 

To donate, click the link below.

http://www.militaryfamily.org/get-involved/donate/giving-opp/

NOTE:  Be sure to type “GrowGratitude” in the Comments section.

If you prefer to DONATE BY PHONE, please call  703-931-6632, ext. 325. Be sure to mention “GrowGratitude” !  

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!

See You Next Wednesday!Pink Heart    OXOXOXO

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The Little Blog That Could…

April 10, 2013 · Filed under Heart to Heart · Tagged , , ,

Rita Profile

Remember the children’s book, “The Little Engine That Could”? I don’t readily recall the specifics of the story, but it was generally about a small train engine with a long line of cars in tow that had to make it up and over a seemingly insurmountable mountain. None of the larger train engines would agree to try to pull the cargo. As the tiny train struggled to ascend the mountain, it began chanting the mantra, “I–think-I can, I–think-I can, I-think-I can”, which it successfully utilized to motivate, build momentum, and chug its way up the mountainside. No doubt it was an extremely difficult endeavor for the ambitious little engine. 

But from there, it was all downhill, so to speak.

blue train

The engine, knowing the worst was behind him, began chanting: “I-thought-I could, I-thought-I could, I-thought-I could” all the way down the other side of the mountain.

What was required for that little engine to manage to maneuver the mountain: a vision, motivation, ambition, courage, strength, perseverance, and optimism. Quite a combination of characteristics! Armed with these assets as its base, many endeavors would be more inclined to be successful.  Relatively reasonable, right?

green mountain

When I started blogging, I had a vision.  You’ve got to see it to be it!     

In other words, you have to be able to visualize or have a vision of what it is you are trying to accomplish or become. Without that vision, you’re unlikely to see your efforts come to fruition. Seeing is believing and believing is deeply rooted.

I was motivated and timing was key. I have a passion for writing and I knew I needed to resurrect that outlet that had previously served me well. I was exactly where I needed to be in order for the blog to come into being. But beyond that, I had a vision that my blog would be more than just my

telescope vision

voice, touting my perspective. My blog had to reflect who I am to some extent as well as what I think. The two are distinct. At the heart of who I am lies a pervasive deep desire to make a positive difference in the lives of others. And as you likely know, actions speak louder than words. So it has always been that my blog, GrowGratitude, would incorporate taking action and giving back. I just wasn’t sure how or when but I figured that the blog would take shape as it unfolded.

It takes a willingness to be vulnerable to share your thoughts and personal perspective with the “world”. Being vulnerable is not easy. It takes courage to open up and publicly reveal your personal experiences, perspectives, thoughts, flaws, failures, desires, and dreams. Have you ever had someone tell you that you were so brave to do whatever and that they could never see themselves doing that? Odds are they never will. If you can’t see it, you can’t be it. You have to have courage to let the inside out and the outside in.  I don’t like feeling vulnerable, but I do like being who I am. It’s about being my authentic self not some pre-conceived made up façade or false self personally tailored for presentation to the world. Showing you who I genuinely am, and being o.k.

female writer

with whatever that means for you is a gift I give myself. Interestingly, it gets easier as I get older. So, while the writing comes somewhat naturally, the willingness to be vulnerable is a process.

So I took to my laptop and began writing. I made a list of “topics” to blog about so that I would be ahead of the game. To date, I have yet to refer to that list as a source for blogging. I do know it will come in handy, though, at some point. Thus far, my weekly blog posts have pretty much been off the cuff and initiated by sporadic events or thoughts. That works for me as I tend to be a person who goes-with-the-flow. Although I must admit, going with the flow, due to its relative uncertainty, can have an anxiety-laden effect which kind of negates the whole go-with-the-flow mindset.

Once I press “Publish”, my personal thoughts are out there for the “world” to know. Not only are they out there, but I’m seeking your response or perspective in return.  It takes a certain amount of strength, perhaps of character, to open up to a world of virtual strangers with the hopes that what you have to share is of some value, has some meaning, or makes a difference in that moment or that day or their life. My hope is that you “like” the post and that you find it worthy of your time.

So where am I going with all of this? As you may know, April is Month of the Military Child and Childrens MonthGrowGratitude, the little blog that could, wants to help give back to our country’s little heroes who routinely make difficult sacrifices in order for our country’s grown-up heroes to protect and serve.

As a former military child, I know personally some of the sacrifices these children make. As a result, I will always have a special place in my heart for the children of our country’s great military.

“I-think-I can, I-think-I can, I-think-I can”. But I KNOW I can’t without your help.

Please help me make this happen!!

http://www.militaryfamily.org/get-involved/donate/giving-opp/

Support Military Kid

Take 5 minutes to give $5 and forward this post or the donation link above to as many people as you can and encourage them to do the same.

Let’s give back to the heroes behind our heroes. They deserve our support and I am grateful for your support! All proceeds go to the National Military Family Association.

Pink Heart

See you next Wednesday!           OXOXOXO 

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Let’s GrowGratitude for “Military Child Month”!

March 27, 2013 · Filed under Heart to Heart · Tagged , , ,

 Rita Profile

April is “Military Child Month” and GrowGratitude is on Board!

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This post is in honor of our nation’s military children and the heroic sacrifices they routinely make as part of being in a military family.

GrowGratitude Needs Your Help to Increase Awareness and Support for These Young Heroes. Please take a moment to read this post, share your thoughts, and PASS IT ON!  

I was born a “military brat” and have a special place in my heart for the children who are members of military families. According to Wikipedia, once a brat, always a brat. I did not know that.  “Military brats” describes children of a parent(s) serving full-time in the armed forces and also refers to a unique subculture and lifestyle of American military brats.” That may help explain why my heart wants to help (and a few other things).

                    

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Fortunately, I believe the perception of “military brat” has changed since my childhood. At that time, the perception seemed to be that being a “military brat” meant gallivanting around the globe, as if it was a “privilege” bestowed upon the very few. And I guess, to some extent that is sort of true. But what We, the People, seemed to forget or at least not acknowledge or perhaps did not realize or consider, is the NOT so “glamorous” aspect of “gallivanting the globe” from the vantage point of the military child.

It is from this perspective that we find irrefutable evidence for and the importance of celebrating these heroes; our heroes, who routinely make profound sacrifices as part of our country’s security and protection. Some of those sacrifices have the potential of having life-long effects and can become consciously or unconsciously a part of how one views and experiences life.

Some sacrifices are unimaginable.
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We owe our military children much gratitude, acknowledgement, support, understanding, appreciation, and more.

From a personal perspective, life as a military child was not easy. One of my most vivid memories was when my father was deployed to Thailand as his final service to our country before retiring from the U.S. Air Force. My father was expected to be stationed there for a year before we would see him again. I had just turned 9 years old and it was late Fall around Thanksgiving time. My personal secret countdown until my father left concluded the night before. All I remember about that night was that in the morning my father was leaving us for an inconceivable amount of time. Forever, to a 9 year old girl. And I really really did not want him to go.

My dreaded morning arrived quickly. I don’t recall if I slept at all. But I do recall feeling as though something traumatic was happening and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing! As I went downstairs, my father and mother stood in the dining room making last-minute preparations and checks. My father looked so handsome in his uniform.

Father and Daughter

The time came for me to leave for school. My father turned to me and asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I was trying to be so strong and I could tell that he was trying to be strong too. The inevitable happened and the tears began to flow uncontrollably. “I don’t want anything”, I sobbed, as the tears streamed down my face. At the age of 9, I recognized the pain on my father’s face and I knew he too was hurting and definitely did not want to leave us either.

I walked to school that morning, head low, heart heavy, thinking about what it was going to be like when I get home from school, knowing that my father was somewhere far far away for a very long time. My heart remained heavy that entire day as thoughts of my dad plagued my mind. I simply could not imagine life without my dad for such a long period of time.

My world had changed and everything in it somehow looked and felt different.

There are moments in life that you know are going to penetrate deep into the recesses of your mind and heart as the moment unfolds. And there are times when you don’t consciously realize or recognize the full effects or the magnitude of a particular moment until sometime later in life, or perhaps never. These moments can be, undoubtedly, defining moments, whether we are consciously aware of them or not. Their influence is deeply rooted, with considerable potential to affect us throughout the course of our lives.

I can still clearly see the pained expression on my father’s face and feel the depth of sadness that was my companion until my father returned home. No matter what was going on, there was an ever-present sadness casting a cloud over every life event and experience that deploymenthappened during that time. It turned out that my father would be gone longer than one year as originally expected and when he returned home, he returned as a disabled veteran.

My father retired from the U.S. Air Force having served our country for more then 20 years.

Looking back on my childhood years as a “military brat”, I now and at different points in my life, realize the impact that single experience alone had and still has on me to this day. It’s good to be conscious of that to which you were once unconscious. Sometimes having that awareness helps increase understanding of the nature and the lasting effects of being a military child.

Check out the slide show below regarding our nation’s amazing military children. Some of it may surprise you. Just take a moment. Imagine what it might be like to walk in their shoes.

Military Child Slide Show 

During April, the “Month of the Military Child”, GrowGratitude will be raising funds to help support our military children. And in a sense, they are indeed, OUR children.

The goal  is to raise $5,000. All proceeds will go to the National Military Family Association. 

The National Military Family Association has been the leading 501(c)3 charity helping military families of all ranks and Service branches. Their network of more than 1 million military family members is among the largest in the U.S.

Infant Draped in flag

To make a $5 donation to the National Military Family Association, click on the link below. 

The link will take you directly to the “Giving Opportunities Page”. Click “DONATE”.

To donate $5, click “OTHER” and enter $5 or a different amount, if desired.

 http://www.militaryfamily.org/get-involved/donate/giving-opp/

NOTE:  BE SURE TO TYPE “GrowGratitude” IN THE COMMENTS SECTION SO THAT WE ARE ABLE TO TRACK PROGRESS IN MEETING OUR $5,000 GOAL!

If you prefer to DONATE BY PHONE, please call Caroline Rasmus at 703-931-6632, ext. 325. Be sure to tell Ms. Rasmus that you are donating on behalf of “GrowGratitude” so that your donation will be included in the effort to reach our $5,000 Goal!

You can donate with confidence, because they are top rated by all charity evaluators:

  • 4-star rating from Charity Navigator 10 straight years – a distinction attained by only 1% of U.S. charities
  • Seal of Approval from the Better Business Bureau’s Wise Giving Alliance
  • A+ rating from CharityWatch.
  • “Buy” rating from Nonprofit Investor

I am truly grateful for your support and I know the children will be as well.

Let’s Make It Happen and Thank You!

Pink Heart                                                         OXOXOXO

See You Next Wednesday with an Update on the Mission to Grow Gratitude!

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What’s Hugs Got To Do… Got To Do With It? Channeling My Inner Tina Turner and the Power of Hugs

February 14, 2013 · Filed under Heart to Heart · Tagged , , , ,

The Power of Hugs:

I recently had an experience that culminated in a hug that was 15 years in the making. Although the experience was the catalyst for the hug, it was the hug that was the experience that got me thinking. My inquisitive nature naturally kicked in. What transpires in the time span that a hug takes place? Think about it. There’s nothing like a really good, genuinely felt, well-timed hug. Hugs are ofRita Profilefered as well as received for a whole host of reasons spanning the spectrum from Deliriously Happy Hugs (aka Hysterical Hugs) to Heartache and Heartbreaking Hugs. Turns out that hugs are more complex than meets the eye, but not the touch.

The effort to bring the healing power of hugs to the human population began in 1986, with creation of National Hug Day (since evolved into World Hug Day). January 21st was the identified date because it is mid-way between Christmas and Valentine’s Day, a time thought to be when people are at an emotional low. Ok, sounds reasonable.

But the creation of National Hug Day was as a result of the perception that Americans were embarrassed expressing emotions in public. The hope was that designating a national hug day would help alleviate that. Shocking!

Embarrassed, inhibited, Americans? Never!

Research Says:

Well, evidently it’s true…relatively speaking. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami Medical School found that French couples spend 3 times as much time touching when compared to Americans. In fact, it appears that a number of countries have citizens who are much more inclined and comfortable with embracing one another than we are. Apparently we have personal-space issues, but fortunately that does not mean that we are not receptive to increasing our hug-ability. But what do we stand to gain by becoming more tactile with our fellow Americans and embracing the hug as well as the huggable?

From a purely scientific perspective, research shows that 20 seconds of hugging among couples increases the body’s “feel good” chemical level, oxytocin. Love oxytocin! Not surprisingly, huggers who were in a loving relationship had the highest increase in oxytocin levels. And according to the American Psychosomatic Society, a brief hug coupled with 10 minutes of hand holding with a romantic partner greatly diminishes the harmful effects of stress. Ok, you’ve got my attention.

Research also shows that human contact is essential for healthy psychological, social, and physical development as well as promoting happiness and feelings of well-being. In addition, hugs can help build a good immune system and decrease the risk of heart disease.

The way I see it, most hugs physically and emotionally take place heart-to-heart.   Perhaps by design or perhaps by the sheer practicality of facilitating the ease of engaging in a hug. If I had to wager, I’d bet on the former as opposed to the latter. Hugs have much to do with the heart.

Mom and Dad Back In the Day… A Forever Love

Hugs can be intimate and sometimes best suited for a private setting or, depending upon the culture and/or individual comfort level, they can be completely socially acceptable public displays of affect. I say affect as opposed to affection because it’s really the affect part or the subjective emotional component of hugging that I’m referring to in contrast to affection per se. Nonverbal communication represents two-thirds of all communication and hugs speak volumes when words are insufficient. So with that being said, let’s get to the heart of the hug.

If Hugs are a Form of Nonverbal Communication What is it They’re Saying?

Like me, I know you too have wondered, what gives with the hug? So in my desire to provide us with one less thing to think about as we go about our daily lives and in light of Valentine’s Day, below is information that may prove useful as we engage in the act of hugging- either as the hug initiator (hugger) or the hug recipient (huggie). So, let’s start at the beginning…

                                                                                                                                                                               

Webster’s Hug Facts:

  • Origin: Perhaps Scandinavian; akin to Old Norse hugga, to soothe
  • First known use of hug was in 1567
  • 19 words rhyme with hug (4 of which I’ve never heard of)

If you care to take a moment to ponder the 19 rhymes, feel free to do so now. I know I did!

Hugs In the News: Getting Hip with the Hug                       

The New York Times reported that in the United States, “the hug has become the favorite social greeting when teenagers meet or part these days (perhaps our youth are on to something?) However, a number of schools in the United States have issued bans on hugs, which in some cases have resulted in student-led protests against these bans (perhaps the schools are on to something? – just keep it friendly…the hugs and the protest). 

Hug-Ability:

Hugs generally indicate that people are familiar with each other and there are a variety of hugs that are either given and/or received. Below are a few examples of hugs you may be familiar with. Note that this list is by no means all inclusive. Let me know your thoughts. I would love to hear what you’re thinking!

Formality Hug: A form of greeting; type of customary hug. Typically brief, limited physical contact.

Reciprocal Hug: aka “Welcomed” hug. Individual is comfortable and receptive to the hug and in turn, reciprocates

Forever Friends in a Reciprocal,  Side-to-Side Hug

Side-to-Side Hug: a generally light-hearted position hug. Conveys closeness, warmth, support and love.                     .

Back-to-Front Hug: Type of position hug. “I got your back” or “you got my back”. Similar to a Bear Hug.

Healing Hug: “It’s going to be ok”

All Encompassing Hug: “Everything’s going to be ok”

Empathy Hug: “I feel you“. Sympathy Hug: “ I feel for you”

Me and My Girl in a Bear Hug Back in the Day

Goodbye/Good Buy Hug:   Type of homophone hug generally given when a) parting ways or b) upon    purchase  of a really good        deal.  Caution: can cause eyes to well up with tears.

Bear/Bare Hug:   Type of homophone hug. Sometimes performed simultaneously.Bear hug usually denotes embracing from behind; sometimes used to subdue and calm. The Bare Hug is self-explanatory. And the combo Bear/Bare Hug is …well, you know.

Hysterical Hug:   Somewhat self-centered in nature. Example: “I just won the lottery!” OR “You just won the lottery…and you know me, and you like me… A Lot! “      

Ever-Lasting Hug: “If this were eternity, I’d stay here forever!”

Congratulatory Hug- “I’m so happy for you!”

Guinness Award Winning Hugs:

Most Hugs in a 24 hour period- 8,709 in Manchester, TN. June 11, 2010

Longest Marathon Hug-  Four couples in London spent more than 24 hours hugging it out, effectively  and lovingly. January 23, 2012.

Group Hug: Hug involving 3 or more recipients/participants

The largest group hug consisted of 10,554 people in an event in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada on May 7, 2010.

Hugs are powerful. They say so much with so little. Familiarity, love, friendship, support, affection, comfort, sympathy, consolation, empathy, joy and happiness and so much more can be conveyed all with a simple hug.

So what are you waiting for?!? Come on…Bring It In!      OXOXOXOX       

Also, FYI… 🙂

19 Words that Rhyme with Hug

BUG, CHUG, DRUG, DUG, FUG, JUG, LUG, MUG, PLUG, PUG, RUG, SHRUG, SLUG, SMUG, SNUG, THUG, TRUG, TUG, VUG

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