Archive for In the Interest of Time

How Dr. Seuss Helped Heal the Hurt of My Tumultuous Teenage Years

Last Saturday would have been Dr. Seuss’ 109th Birthday. This post is dedicated to his Rita Profilememory and the impact he had on the lives of millions of children, including myself.

“I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope, which is what I do. And that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.”    – Theodor Geisel (aka, Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991)

Every child needs a friend, a confidante, someone (or thing) that s/he can trust whole-heartedly with their deepest thoughts, feelings and secrets. Key to that relationship is the concept of trust. It does not require a Dr. Seuss imagination to ponder potential problems or the tragedy that we face when a child feels their world is an untrustworthy place.

Anyone who has been a teenager can readily recall the roller coaster ride of adolescence. It is a trying and often challenging time of not only self-discovery but the discovery and perhaps stark recognition and understanding of how small we are, relative to our previous perception of the world and how we fit in it. Without question, being a teenager can be a tumultuous, trying time and raising a teenager…well, that’s a topic for a future blog post.

I think it’s safe to say that my typical teenage years were anything but typical. As a “military brat”, my first taste of civilian life was just a few short years before finding myself in the throes of adolescence.  As my father neared retirement from the U.S. Air Force, his last tour of duty was Thailand. Because we were not permitted to accompany him, he and my mother decided to relocate us to a small, back-mountain town in Pennsylvania – the town where my grandmother raised 7 children and where my father grew up. A town where my father felt would be the best place for his family while he was overseas completing his service to our country.                                                0306132008

Leaving military life was a bit of a culture shock in itself but moving to my father’s childhood hometown was a horse of a different color (so to speak). My father, an African-American and my mother, a white woman from England, were married in the late 1950’s (I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the culture shock my mother must have experienced).

My mother lived with my grandmother in that small, back-mountain town while my father was stationed overseas. At that time, they had 2 of the 5 children they would eventually 0306132008abring into the world. From then, it was back and forth between the United States and Europe. Of the 5 offspring, 1 was born in England, 2 were born in France (my birthplace), and 2 were born in my father’s childhood town. In fact, my sister was the first African-American baby born in the town’s hospital.

So as you may be beginning to realize, the situation or circumstances were a bit complicated and quite frankly, at times, downright dangerous across the country.

Picture this: 1950’s America, African-American man MARRIED to a British white woman living in undeniable poverty in a town where the number of non-white inhabitants was virtually nil. Then imagine the fact that this couple had the audacity to procreate.  And get this, one of their “creations” can be seen for a limited time simply by visiting the hospital maternity ward. Perhaps a freak show of sorts? Or maybe just harmless, honest, curiosity. I’m not sure. But I’m fairly sure that my mother probably holds the record for most visitors ever to frequent that maternity ward in the history of the hospital.  And of course, she didn’t know most of them, but they knew her…or at least heard about her.0306131819

Ok, enough about that.

So perhaps you’re wondering what Dr. Seuss has to do with any of this. I won’t say Dr. Seuss saved my sanity but there’s a good likelihood that the impact of his work took hold at an early age. After all, what kid didn’t love Dr. Seuss? Long story short, I love a good rhyme. And those of you who know me know I do it all the time.

Now I have to confess I was not comfortable in my own skin and like a typical teenager I just wanted to fit in. Good Luck with that! (mental note: how to fit in when you only stand out). I was fortunate enough to make some really good friends, but few I felt I could truly trust. And let me state clearly, that wasn’t necessarily all their doing. I, unlike my 2 siblings before me, was very timid and painfully shy. I was determined to maintain a low profile praying that doing so would help me remain unnoticed under the radar. Good Luck with that too! The point being, is that my 2 older siblings were more inclined to rebel and retaliate. I, at times, just wanted to be invisible and sometimes I was. But that was usually when I didn’t want to be.

So what does a self-admitting non-trusting biracial African-American teenager on the heels of the civil rights era with no one who remotely looks like her except her family do to navigate the turns through the tumultuous teenage times without losing her sense of sanity while simultaneously gaining a sense of self?

She writes. She turns the pen and paper into her closest confidant, her counselor, her soul survivor. And so I did. But I only wrote when I felt hurt or depressed. Writing was my path to  peace. I would journal my thoughts, feelings, hurts and desires. But I found that the writing frustrated me and didn’t help to ease my feelings. And that’s when my use of rhyme became a part of me…at least consciously. Instead of documenting my sadness, I began writing rhymes that may or may not have had anything to do with the reason that compelled me to write. What I found was that not only did I love writing rhymes but by the time I completed one I felt entirely different. The pain, if not gone, was significantly alleviated. And in the process I was also entertained.

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Me in my teens

With that said, I would like to share with you one of the rhymes I wrote when I was 15 years old that, to this day, I still feel vividly conveys and reminds me of a time when most children experience a sense of struggle.  What we do to overcome or survive those struggles; our experiences and choices, can potentially contribute to, and/or reflect, the core of who we are. And though I have NEVER had a desire to be a teenager again, I am grateful for those years, for the challenges that helped shape me and make me a better and stronger person, and for the friends who shared the experience of being a teenager with me.

Mixed Fruit

So true to life a song can be

For things believed not meant to be

How can a world be so unfair

In hurting such a happy pear?

There once was an apple and pearFingers Holding Apple

Who happened to have an affair

Though she was red did not matter a bit

For it was love that they felt and that was it.

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They lay side by side in a bowl full of fruit

They were adorable, sweet, really quite cute

They’d laugh and they’d talk and they’d kiss when they may

But little did they know it would be their last day

For from around the corner there was a spy

And so it was said their love must die.

 

They captured the apple the very next day

They peeled her and cut her and sent her away

And from that day forward the pear remained mute

For the spy believed you should not mix fruit!

See You Next Wednesday!  Pink Heart

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What the “Turbaned Tornado” Can Teach Us About Time

Rita ProfileI want to be like the “Turbaned Tornado” when I grow up and I think I stand a decent shot. That is, if longevity is on my side. And assuming I never grow old.  In either case, the “Turbaned Tornado” has managed to accomplish both.

When I was younger, like most youths, longevity was not foremost in my mind, outside the fleeting thought of how long I might actually be on this earth, knowing full well that it was highly unlikely that I would be determining that decision. But no worries. With youth on my side, I was invincible. Not an uncommon notion at the time. And still isn’t.

One of the things I’ve been noticing (predominantly on college campuses) is not necessarily a change in the perception of invincibility among our youth, but perhaps a more proactive stance that seems to adhere to the notion that if one plans to live “forever”, then the quality of one’s life is paramount and to a large extent contingent upon how we care for ourselves as well as respond to events that unfold throughout the course of our lives. And given such, isn’t one better off preparing during the early years of life to help ensure a higher quality of life later on and to increase the likelihood of physically and mentally aging as part of a healthy lifestyle?

This is in stark contrast to what one may believe given the undeniable obesity epidemic pervading our country; an epidemic resulting in considerable health conditions and problems that have powerful potential for impacting one’s longevity as well as quality of life, physically and otherwise.

There comes a time when longevity is something that somehow subtly settles in at a seemingly perplexing pace. The longer I live, the more I realize how long I’ve lived. And the more I realize how long I’ve lived, the more I realize how fast the time I have lived has passed. Begrudgingly, I accept that longevity, if destined, is fleeting.

So, who is this “Turbaned Tornado” that I speak of?  Check him out in the video clip below. He’s blazing a trail!

So, What Can We Gain From the “Turbaned Tornado” in Terms of Time?

Consider this:

1.  You’re never too old (or too young) to have goals and dreams, but you must act on them for them to come to fruition. Timing is key.

2.  Nourishing and respecting our bodies in a way that’s conducive to healthy living is essential to strengthen and protect the vessel that sustains us throughout our lives. The sooner, the better.

3.  The longer we live, the more loss we’re inclined to experience.  Developing a means or outlet for coping with loss and emotional duress enhances the healing process and overall well-being.

4.   Physical activity and eating well are proven methods for improving physical and emotional health. So are having goals and dreams throughout our lives.

5. Our overall desire to make our mark in the world as well as create a positive difference in the lives of others makes a difference in our own lives. Giving and doing for others in need is an opportunity to do both.

6. We have the capacity throughout our lives to overcome the obstacles and challenges that life brings.

7.  Happiness is a state of mind.

As I contemplate the next chapter in my life, I will reflect upon the “Turbaned Tornado” and the ways in which his story and approach to life has opened my eyes, my heart, and my mind to the genuine belief that it’s really not over until it’s over. Consequently, my goals just might be a bit grander and my dreams a bit bigger.

If longevity does work out to be on my side and even if it doesn’t, one thing I know for sure is that I am as young as I am ever going to be and I’m far wiser than I’ve ever been. What a phenomenal combination. Full-speed ahead. No time to waste. Look out world, here I come…and I’m just getting started!

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Pink in Winter: The Subtle Sign of the End of an Era

Henny-Penny, Turkey-Lurkey, and Goosey-Loosey all knew it…or at least, believed it. The sky was falling and the world was ending. Usually less catastrophic than a collapsing sky and world destruction, the end of an era can come complete wRita Profileith an array of responses and emotions including, but not limited to, uncertainty, reflection, despair, anxiety, sadness, and discomfort. By the same token, the beginning of an era can signify relief, hope, anticipation, jubilation, and celebration. Both the beginning and the end of an era can include any of the aforementioned responses. It is a fine line.

The end of an era signifies relatively considerable change; events or milestones that mark the cessation of a period of time in which what was – up until that point in time – is no longer, and will never be again. Not as it was originally. The end of an era predicates change of such significance that it requires and recognizes a distinct marker in time. It’s that marker in time that is often utilized as a means of reflecting upon various life experiences and cementing our associations with them as having occurred either before or after the specific event that ended (or started) the era.  It is, by all means, a defining moment.

0220130705Breaking News…

“We interrupt your regularly read blog to bring you this important message:

“Pink is the Hot New Cool Color for the Cold of Winter!”

Say what?!? Since when has pink been the go-to color for winter? What’s happened to or is happening to our traditional darker winter-weather hues? After all, that’s the way it’s always been, at least as long as I can remember (from a mid-Atlantic East Coast perspective). And it’s not just pink that’s hot this winter. The colors are brilliant!  Bright, eye-popping reds, oranges, greens, purples and yellows all being donned in a way and at a time I have never seen before (though I’m no fashionista). What season is this? We’ve stepped outside the box. We’re moving forward. A change has come.   ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

This, my friends, is the end of an era!

That is, unless of course, you consider it a “trend of an era” which would be a new, relatively short-lived, passing fancy. But I believe this is the end of an era and let me tell you why.

Traditionally, darker colors are known to attract or absorb heat so it stands to reason that for those of us who experience cold winter months should dress accordingly to maximize warmth and comfort. Even the act of layering our clothes for added warmth would be enhanced if each of the layers is of a darker hue. Makes sense thus far. So how on earth does pink enter the picture?

The Practicality of Pink

My guess is that it’s not the color pink per se, but rather, the effect or impact of the color pink on mood – yours and mine. And let’s face it, when it comes to winter, I, like many of you, am not in the mood. Colors have been proven to stimulate feelings and affect mood.Baby Bro Crying

Positively Pink

Instructors at the Bloomsburg University Graphic Design Center say that color has profound effects on the mental and physical well-being of humans. Pink is a soothing, calming and cheerful color that helps to reduce stress and anxiety. It is relaxing, warm and can increase joy as it conjures up images of happiness. Pink also encourages friendliness while discouraging aggression and ill-will.

Below are some of the ways that color, and specifically pink, has packed a punch, both consciously and subconsciously.

Feeling “In the Pink”          

  • The phrase, “in the pink” is associated with having good health.
  • Bright pinks, like the color red, stimulate energy and can increase blood pressure, respiration, heartbeat, and pulse rate. They also encourage action and confidence.
  • Pastries taste better when they come out of pink boxes or served on pink plates (it only works with sweets). Pink makes us crave sugar.
  • The pink ribbon is a worldwide symbol of awareness and hope in the fight against breast cancer

Pink From a Gender Perspective    Male Yes

  • Pink is associated with love and kindness and is often referred to as the “color of love”.  Pink is also strongly associated with femininity
  • More men than ever are purchasing pink as additions to their wardrobes and wearing it comfortably and confidently (and looking good in the process!)
  • Some studies of the color pink suggest that male weightlifters seem to lose strength in pink rooms, while women weightlifters tend to become stronger around the color.

Pink Around The Planet

  • The Japanese associate the color pink with masculinity. The annual spring blooming of the pink-blossomed cherry trees (the Sakura) is said to represent the young Japanese warriors who fell in battle in the prime of life (the Samurai).
  • The Chinese had not recognized the color pink until they had contact with Western culture. The Chinese translation for pink is “foreign color.”

Pink at Work

  • Pink slip: notice that employment is ending
  • Pink collar: refers to a particular class of jobs once only filled by women

Prison Pink

  • Pink has been used in prison holding cells to effectively reduce erratic behavior

Pink Pride      

  • A pink triangle is often used to represent gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. The origin of the pink triangle goes back to when Nazis labeled their prisoners in concentration camps. Men who had been jailed because of supposed homosexuality had to wear the pink triangle on their clothing. The pink triangle is now a symbol and sign of pride.

Intoxicating Pink

  • Sport’s teams sometimes use pink to paint the locker room used by opposing teams due to its tranquilizing effect.
  • A pink elephant: term to describe hallucinations during intoxication

So as pink makes its way into our regular winter wardrobes with all of its wonderful personal and psychosocial implications, remember that not long ago, wearing white after Labor Day was taboo and considered to be a MAJOR fashion faux pas (winter-white excluded).  That was the end of an era despite the fact that some find it challenging to let go of what has always been.

Take a moment to ponder the personal milestones and markers in your life as you reflect upon the eras that have come and gone or perhaps not yet begun. In the process of doing so, enjoy the journey as your mind drifts back to days gone by, joyful and challenging. Enjoy the memories that are made and the milestones that are met. Consciously appreciate your present moment fully recognizing that what is will not always be and how fine the line is between the end of an era and the birth of a new one.

And remember, if you’ve got the winter blues, break out the pink and feel what happens…not only for you, but for those you come in contact with as well.

Let me know what you think…that would tickle me pink!   Pink Heart                                                                                 

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